My Plans, Your Plans; My Thoughts, Your Thoughts

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Have you ever had that moment when you are at your best, you are waiting for good news, you have made an effort, you think you deserve it, that this is your moment, until… in seconds, everything collapses; your mood is not the same, your plans have changed and you think that at that precise moment, everything goes wrong…

SATURDAY, July 8, 2017

7:30 am
Today is a new day, in a few weeks I will be traveling and everything will be wonderful. I had a visit at my house and I must treat them very well.

1:00 pm
I went to CREA to pick up Alexander for the day and we talked a little bit. Our talks are increasingly growing deeper, and he has the confidence to tell me about his friends, as there is a girl in his school who is in love with him, and the many things that two normal guys discuss. At the time, he was grateful that our outings were different (we always do something different), and he accepted the fact that I am a hyperactive person. We went to a photo exhibit and then returned to CASA HOGAR SENDEROS de amor, where Alex lived a few months of his life in 2015. It was great watching him help others and behave like an adult. One of the things that shocked me most was that although I told him we could eat anywhere, he chose to eat at Senderos de Amor. At that moment, I realized that good company is worth more than a good place to eat.

6:00 pm
We continued visiting Senderos. We planned to watch a movie, but the DVD didn’t work. So, we played games instead and had an excellent time.

10:00 pm
Alex has returned to CREA, and I am in my house arranging all the paperwork to take to the Embassy on Monday.

11:59 pm
To sleep

SUNDAY, July 9, 2017

6:00 am
I got up with a lot of encouragement! I knew that this day was full of tasks to do. We dropped my dad off at work, then went to pick up Alex and he was asleep, after 45 minutes waiting for him we finally left at 8!

8:20 am
I was at my dad’s clinic dropping off some documents I needed for the embassy. Meanwhile, Alex wrote a letter. The printer did not work !!!!

9:45 am
I was in Office Depot printing documents, but my dad needed us to bring him some breakfast to his work, so I ran to buy my dad’s breakfast while Alex printed the documents and then we picked up my friend at her house and then drove to church… the service Starts at 10 !!!

10:15 am
I arrived 15 minutes late to the church !! I’m a disaster !! During the whole service, I was thinking about what my time in the embassy would be like, what questions will they ask me? How will the person question me?

11:30 am
In 45 minutes we arrived at the mall, I bought a pair of jeans and two shirts (one for me and one for Alex) and then I bought lunch, in record time !!! My bus leaves at 1:45 pm.

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1:10 pm
I’ve already left Alex to CREA and I’m on my way to my friend’s house to leave her and then go to my house and then go to take the bus.

1:20 pm
Somebody crashed our car !! God!! Why do things like that happen ?!

1:35 pm
My brother is angry with me because I was rushing him.

4:00 pm
This was not the bus I was hoping for, but everything will be fine.

10:00 pm
I’m in Tegucigalpa, I’m still working on the papers for my appointment at the embassy.

MONDAY, July 10, 2017

5:00 am
I did not sleep at all!! I was nervous!! I got up and dressed “like never before”.

10:45 am
I am in front of a lady who with a smile and full of kindness said to me, “I’m sorry, you have to wait, we will not give you the visa.” I felt something in my stomach, I think I wanted to vomit, I felt that all my plans were empty.

1:00 pm
I was back at my house, not wanting to talk to anyone …

Hey !! This is not me! Why am I sad? In all these days, I have only thought of myself, without thinking about what will happen to other people when I am not there! It was selfish to push my brother to accelerate the car, it was selfish to hurry everyone because I had to be on time, it was selfish to think that I was traveling while Alex stayed here without someone to visit. Sometimes we are so focused on ourselves that we forget about others, we forget that we are not the center of the earth, we forget that God exists … We forget that He has a purpose for our life, we forget that God has better plans. This was my lesson: I know God has great plans for me, my family and friends.

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For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
— Isaiah 55: 8-9
Ernesto Sorto